Hoisting myself out of a funk~

Last week was a doozie for me. I had a very odd and frustrating misunderstanding with a friend, there were a couple of out of the ordinary school-related situations with our children, temperatures soared early in the season and puffs of invisible pollen caused sinusular (is that a word?) misery and, to top it off, our family dog died on Friday. I know I'm not alone out there. I know that a lot of people are suffering from the blues and I also realize that my woes pale in comparison to the challenges that many people are facing. The things I faced last week were very difficult, though. I'm not a 'blue' person but it's been really difficult to pull myself out of this funk--until yesterday. Yesterday I caught a glimpse of the first glittery beams of shining light. Rather than it being a result of patiently (or impatiently as the case oftentimes is) waiting for things to get better, I think it was more due to a shift in my actions.

The situation with my friend was the first one to cross my path last week and it utterly yanked the carpet out from under my feet. I think it was a classic story: The Case of the Missing Communication. Correspondance was done by email and all I can figure is that was the cause of the confusion. I turned to my friend, initially, for some very brief guidance and direction for something I'm researching and trying to put together. After two notes passed amongst us, I was feeling an odd sensation of being brushed off. It didn't make sense. It hit me later that, perhaps, my friend is going through stuff of her own and just has a super full plate. Whatever the case may be, I would have liked to have picked up the phone to clear up any confusion. Communication is the foundation for everything! In this particular instance, though, I went with my inner nudgings and just dropped it. It did nothing to clear up my hurt over the whole scenario but I really felt like further discussion would fuel this fire that seemed to crop up unexpectedly. It may be that my friend has no idea of the emotions that have transpired over the past several days because of this. So I will actively choose to set the situation aside. Easier said than done. Sometimes it helps to place a little distance. Time DOES heal a lot of wounds.

As a parent, we often experience wounds from our children--especially as they enter the teenage years! I'm coming to learn that I can't take these things personally. That's also easier said than done! Actually, our children are a source of great joy for me. The couple of situations that we had to face this week are very out of the ordinary. They caused a sort of quiet, lurking stress within my heart for a short time simply because anything that causes my children pain, discomfort or worry tends to make me uncomfortable as well. I think, however, that a crucial part of being a good parent lies both in being strong, in being open, and in showing our imperfection and how we learn from it. Both situations last week led to incredible teachable moments filled with heart-to-heart conversation that only deepened our parent-child bonds. I've trained myself, over the years, not to 'freak out' when my children make a mistake. They're human, afterall! It is my great desire that they will always feel like coming to me is a place of solace for them--both physically and emotionally. Though emotions were deeply touched this week, the situations reinforced my parental cause.

Then the bomb dropped. It wasn't really a surprise. Our dog had rapidly been declining in the past year. He was old and things were starting to go wrong. We'd already had discussion about what we knew would have to soon happen. We've lost 2 dear old cats in the past so loss of a pet is not new to us but it's not something that you can rehearse for in order to make it 'go more smoothly.' You THINK you're emotionally prepared for something like that but the endless 'little things' break your heart. We'd drop a little piece of food and automatically think, "Oh! Better pick that up quick before Maverick gets it and gets sick!" I find myself still stepping carefully as I make my way to the bathroom in the night so that I don't step on the dog who's always slept on the floor by our bed. Rarely a moment passed by in the last 8 years when that dog wasn't with me wherever I was in the house; he followed me room to room continually. There's an emptiness in the house and in our hearts without him.

Allergies just compound the problem. We've had unseasonably cold Florida temps this winter but record high weather visited us in February. The heat made me feel sluggish and caused a pollen bloom that has my sinuses screaming in pain. I don't usually struggle with sinus pain but usually more the asthma side of things. Now it's sinuses on top of asthma! It's only added to my feeling of lurking in the doldrums because everything is more of an effort and requires more energy. Something had to give, though!

Stuff is going to happen. Some if it is wonderful, glorious stuff! Sometimes we have crap that crosses our path. There is a time and purpose for curling up in a ball and just closing everything out for a while but danger lies in lingering there too long. For me, a week was way long enough. I coaxed my mind into realizing that it just happened to be one of those challenge-filled weeks that we get from time to time and that it's all a part of life--part of the cycle. I'm not stuck in the stuff but am moving forward with the rest of the world. I had good experiences that stemmed out of most of the bad ones. We had a lovely weekend as a family planting flowers all around our pet memory garden and reminiscing about our pup. I bonded even further with our children. I've got a neti pot and Allegra-D that I'm going to once again turn to to get my allergies under control. Hopefully things will be fine with my friend--I'm sure they will be. I might very well have been hypersensitive.

As a part of wellness, I'd recently started running more again. Though I get a runners' high that is so often talked about, I'm realizing that my body might actually be adjusting to the physical demands and could have pulled me down. I enjoyed a Zumba dvd with friends after work yesterday and took 1/2 hour to myself following that to do a restorative yoga session. Everything seemed so clear and positive after that short, half hour practice. I would highly recommend yoga to anybody who has clearance to practice it. It's an incredible way to find balance and harmony. You can take that time to meditate and pray as well. I think when I take the focus off of myself in a stressful situation, the stress starts to dissolve. Rather than sit around feeling badly and focusing on how badly I'm feeling, I find that it's a much more positive experience to shift my focus.

It's ok to fall into a funk. We all do from time to time and that's a part of being human. It can be discouraging to be treated harshly, to deal with tough stuff in our children's lives, to fight off sickness and to deal with death and loss. Take some time to 'be still' when hard times hit you smack in the face. Cry your tears, for they are healing, but then shift your activities to help continue your path of healing and strenghtening so that your challenges will, as opposed to beating you down, create a stronger you.

In peace~
Lisa

Dogs of all ages really CAN learn new tricks! (and, p.s., people too) ;)

Definition of "learn:" to gain knowledge of a subject or skill by study, experience, instruction, etc (Webster's New World Dictionary).

When we think of the word 'learn,' perhaps we most often envision minor-aged children in school learning required courses and materials. I loved school--English, reading, and writing, in particular (gee, ya think)?! I do believe that these subjects provide good base knowledge and foundation and that they also have the potential to create a passion for knowledge and discovery within the hearts of our young people. I don't know why, when you think of the vast number of existing students out there, so few (in comparison) emmerge from the student setting with the desire to continue their quest for learning. Heck! There are loads of younger students who never even tap into the excitement of learning while they're young, let alone when they enter adulthood.

I was incredibly blessed to have a wonderfully well-rounded family. My parents and grandparents were encouraging and set good examples in all sorts of areas such as reading a variety of newspapers and mind-provoking magazines, listening to a wide variety of musical styles (including classical and jazz...which I'm of the opinion that every child should at least be exposed to regularly), supporting us regularly in our many school programs and performances, allowing and encouraging us to try physical activities such as gymnastics and soccer and taking us on regular outdoor excursions to discover the real Florida (nature hikes, river raft trips, camping trips, etc). These were but a FEW of the wonderful activities and resources that I was regularly exposed to as a child that encouraged learning and kept me engaged.

In addition, I had the additional blessing of being taught by some of the most amazing teachers! My 4th, 5th, and 6th grade enrichment teachers were the creme de la creme and seemed to look outside the box for exciting, new ways to teach us our lessons and inspire us to dig deeper into learning. To this day, I often think of Ms Fuleihan when I'm working with my groups of students and can only hope that I inspire some of them (if not all) to be their very best as she inspired me. I'm talking about more than the 3 R's (plus science and social studies); I'm talking about recognizing the need within myself to keep my brain active--to be in tune with both the inner longings of my heart and the external triggers that capture my senses.

As we grow into adulthood, I think we sometimes allow the day to day repetition of obligations to squelch that inner voice and dull our senses. Blinders go up. We fulfill our daily obligations and then plop onto the couch in exhaustion. From my experience (maybe some of you can relate), we have our beautiful babies and pour every bit of ourselves into raising them and doing what's right for them that we forget that it's important to give ourselves the gift of TIME and continued discovery. There has been a wealth of research showing the benefits of 'lifelong learning' as demonstrated in a much more vibrant later life. I say let's bridge that gap between learning as a student and rediscovering the importance of learning during retirement and challenge ourselves to learn new things throughout our entire lives!

I know it's hard for folks to think about mustering up the energy sometimes (so I hear; energy is not usually something that escapes me, lol). Be encouraged, though, learning something CAN mean buying a new surf board and hitting the waves (something a friend told me he did just today)! It can be a quieter activity. For example, I've have been wanting to learn how to crochet or knit for longer than I can remember. I've just never taken time to do it. Picked up a couple of inexpensive supplies from the dreaded Walmart a couple of weeks ago and pulled up some really great (and free!) basic instructional videos on YouTube! It was simple to get started and was something I could do when I felt like I wanted to be in relaxation mode with my family. I'm still only in practice mode but have already crocheted a couple of really cute 'tea pot blankies' and a bookmark. I fumbled a little bit at first but played the videos over and over a few times and the repetition won out! To top it off, both of my daughters are now really interested in learning to crochet along with me. It's a great opportunity for bonding.

Speaking of bonding, our whole family became interested in playing music quite a number of years ago. We've just dabbled a bit here and there with learning our guitars and playing around on the keyboards. In our son's last year of middle school, he became involved in percussion and that opened up a whole new world for us! We were blessed with a drum kit which all 5 of us enjoy playing around on. Our son, in particular, is doing VERY well because he made the drumline this year in high school and also takes a percussion class. I've voiced (and showed) my continued interest in drumming and he and I often take time out to practice rudiments together or just goof off on drumset and guitar together. He teaches me things that he's mastered. It gives he and I time to bond and keeps my brain engaged.

There are other things that have captured my interest that I've chased after with my learning cap on: vegetable gardening, household composting, various art mediums (my favorite focus last year was oil pastels), and experimenting with a vegan lifestyle. I've loved shooting pictures since I was a child but I'd really like to learn to take my camera off of automatic and shoot with varying settings and effects. Just remember during the course of your days to keep your senses and your heart open. Take note when your heart or your mind does a little flip flop when you notice something new. Maybe it's something you'd like to learn about or learn how to do! Remember that learning can occur by study, experience or instruction. It could be as simple a step as checking out a book from the library about a subject you've always wanted to learn more about. My husband has become a shining example of a knowledge-seeking warrior via library books! Most of what he checks out lately is related to health and longevity--learning how the body works and natural remedies for keeping our bodies at their peak as well as fixing something in our system when it gets sluggish.

**Warning!** Don't let others discourage you! I have to admit to being a squelcher of my husband's quest at first because it felt like he was embarking on this big SOLO adventure. Thankfully, we used our communication skills (follow my blog long enough and you'll know me for my soap box cause: communication...people in general suck at it!). I described my feelings to him that I felt left out and he told me that it was actually me who got him reintroduced to the excitement of reading and how he really wants to learn all he can about good health in it's purest form. We had good discussion and came to the conclusion that we both longed for this and wanted to make the quest together! I've also had MY quest for learning challenged. Not long ago, my son and I were practicing on the drumpad when a flippant comment was tossed my way that I didn't know what I was doing. Who knows why some people try to drag you down or belittle you but don't let it happen! Don't let your desire for learning be shot down! WANTING to learn something doesn't mean that you're going to be a pro within a few short lessons. In fact, if you can't afford to pay for lessons and you are going the self instruction method like we have to, it might take quite awhile to successfully learn all about something. But enjoy the ride; savor each step in the learning process.

It's been proven that learning knew things engages a larger portion of your brain and that the process, as I mentioned before makes for a much more vibrant life all through the advanced years. It also gives you opportunity to destress and unwind, to enjoy quiet meditation as well as establish new, lasting relationships and to enjoy the company of others with like interests. It gives you the opportunity to show your children the value of continued learning and to even find fulfilling, new things to learn and to enjoy doing together. Search your heart and think of something you've always wanted to learn how to do. Start by checking a book out on the subject. Put out the word through your social networking avenues to see if anybody you know can put you in touch with learning resources. If you can afford to take a class, find a local class you can join! Maybe you can get a small group of friends together and pool resources...one of you could teach everyone crocheting one time; the next time someone teaches how to cook a special dish; another friend could give a couple of lessons on gardening, or bocce ball, or creative writing, or yoga...the possibilities are endless! You just have to recognize the value in and the significance to continued learning and go for it~

Before you throw that thing away...

Taking time out from a beautiful Saturday afternoon to get everybody thinking about an exciting little tool I found about about a few months ago called freecycle.com. The amount of STUFF that gets hauled to our landfills is absolutely astounding and the thing that has always amazed me even more than the overall amount of trash I see piled up for pick up is the percentage of it that is perfectly GOOD STUFF that folks are just tossing because they don't want it anymore! We haul it to the curb with the rest of the garbage and, like the rest of the garbage, it gets hauled off to the dump. Perfectly good toys never to fall into the hands of another adoring child. Discarded chairs, lamps and whatnot that would bless a hurting family. Cast off plants that, with a bit of tlc would perk right back up and beautiful our world.

The EASY thing to do is to toss it, but here's a worthy alternative to think about:

Through freecycle.com, members (membership is free and just requires you to sign up with some very basic information) post messages which are basically short and sweet classified ads. The messages get emailed out to members and then folks can respond, if interested, directly to the sender via email. You can either post messages for items you have that you'd like to GIVE AWAY or, a couple of times per month, you may post a 'Wanted' ad for an item that you are in need of. It's very VERY simple to do. By asking posters to keep listing really short (sticking to an accurage description of the item and not getting into the 'story' revolving around why you are getting rid of or in need of that particular item) it makes it super quick and easy.

In the past, I've taken things to the curb with a big "FREE" sign (also something really fun for me to do! I love the feeling of providing an opportunity for somebody to stumble upon an item they might need~!). In the past couple of months, though, I've given away clothing that our children have outgrown, books, cds, dvds, kitchen items and various other sundry items.

On the flipside, I've received a ton of things that have been a blessing for our family:

~a really cool lounge chair for our livingroom...looks like it was straight out of a trendy coffeehouse

~dvds

~craft paint for my art camp...along with other craft-related supplies

~even packaged food items and much more

I don't know why some people feel 'weird' about taking used goods. Hopefully all will see the value to our planet and to our fellow man in pooling together our resources and trying to help eachother out while keeping the contributions to our landfill to a minimum. When you've got a minute, do a search for your closest 'freecycle' organization and look into getting signed up. I know there are other similar sort of trading websites out there but this is as far as I've gotten in the recycling adventure so far.

Happy Freecycling!

Developing a personal relationship with your body~

Nope. Sorry, folks, I'm not talking kinky stuffola here today. You'll have to look elsewhere if that's what you're searching for! I've been thinking about what it takes to develop fitness and nutrition plan that truly works and that is lasting. It's definately not a recent revelation that we should be selective in what we eat and that it's important to exercise regularly. We KNOW this. The new year celebrations often involve new and renewed resoloutions revolving around weight loss and getting in shape---it feels like a fresh, new start come January 1st! But why is it so common for people to kick off their adventure with a blast of positive momentum only to end--sometimes suprisingly quickly--with a lackluster fizzling out of the mojo?!

For starters, maybe the main motivation (losing WEIGHT) is overemphasized. I mean, I know that there are a lot of people who really do need to drop numbers to be healthy. But let's set that fact aside for a moment. When I heard on the news the other day of a debate regarding the rising epidemic of TEENAGE cosmetic surgery I was absolutely stunned. Parents, afterall, have to sign consent forms for these surgeries to take place. How is it that so many parents think it's ok for their teenagers to rearrange their faces and bodies?!... in order to achieve what??...a more perfect visage?! Their bodies aren't even finished growing yet, for goodness sake. But why am I surprised? So many of us are stuck like a deep scratch in a record album on the idea that plastic surgery of whatever kind (you fill in the blank) will make us a better (ie: more desirable, more likeable, more popular, less teased, more "perfect") person. I'm guilty, myself, of seeking a surgery numerous years ago that I thought would help a relationship. Needless to say, it didn't, and I truly wish I hadn't have undergone the risks. In hindsight, I'd much rather be the natural, 'athletic' self I was born as. God didn't create me to be a Marilyn Monroe! It almost makes me sick to now have to lump myself (goodness...certainly no pun intended) in the mass group of people who felt the need to get bigger you know whats to feel better about themselves. How could I have felt that need?!

I question myself and yet I know the answer and it's age-old and getting worse with each passing year. Stupid pressure on so many levels to achieve some sort of vague and never-to-be-attained level of perfection. I've talked with my hubby and many other men and women about the subject and, hands down, the winning opinion seems to be that people think that a healthy and fit yet NATURAL-looking person is so much more attractive. We feel this way about OTHER PEOPLE...why is it that so many feel this continuing need, then, to impose impossible and ridiculous standards on themselves? Again, I think it falls back on scewed perceptions, priorities and expectations.

A couple of close friends and I have held interesting conversations on the subject. We have children of varying ages and have expressed deep concern over this whole subject of self esteem and health. We agree that it's important to get our kiddos involved in some sort of regular physical activity. The friends I'm talking about are fellow runners and we know, first-hand, how wonderful running is for kids and youth as well as adults. It's a great strengthener of your cardiovascular system, of course, as well as a couple of the major muscle groups (you know the ones...legs and buttoxeez)! You get an instant endorphin kick like you wouldn't believe and this helps to keep stress and anxiety at bay. You can set small and then progressively larger goals and enjoy the satisfaction of attaining them which is rewarding for all ages. Plus, one of the best things is that it places emphasis on being strong and fit, happy and healthy as opposed to giving your brain fuel to fester on woes and worries.

I know that running is not for everyone though. Actually, after the last marathon I ran, I started experiencing some intermittant knee trouble. I'm learning not to stubbornly insist upon running as my sole source of exercise, though it is my first love and I try to run a few times per week . During the time that I was a BeachBody coach I was introduced to a lot of wonderful programs and it sparked the desire within me to create a fitness plan that was more well-rounded. With the arrival of the 2011 new year, I've embarked on a personal quest to create a fitness plan that is the best for ME. I make a point of not making my emphasis losing weight but on doing SOME type of workout for approximately 45 minutes to an hour (sometimes less and sometimes more...it balances out) each day for the sake of being healthy, relieving stress and, in general FEELING great! I'm still experimenting with what works best for me; that's the whole 'developing a personal relationship with my body' idea in action. Most weeks I enjoy alternating between a few of my favorite activities: running, walking briskly with my family, P90X workouts, Insanity workouts and yoga. In fact, in a perfect-for-Lisa world, yoga is a part of my every day. When I'm doing some sort of yoga practice daily, I find that the nagging lower back pain that sometimes creeps up on me is nonexistent. I have SEVERAL yoga dvds of varying time frames--some active workouts and others geared more toward relaxation and winding down. I'm familiar enough with many poses now that I'll often stick a short yoga routine at the end of a run to help loosen my muscles back up. Yoga gives me so much: strength, flexibility, detoxification, a sense of peace and balance. During our warm Florida summer months I enjoy adding swimming to my fitness coral. I'm also reintroducing biking. I did a lot of that during my triathlon training days; biking on a road bike (or any bike, for that matter) is a great complement to running because it works different muscles and gives my knees a break. In deepening the relationship I have with myself, I've also come to find that I really don't so much enjoy working out in the gym environment (not enough to be a member) but prefer outdoor activities or participating in exercise involving a small group of close friends, my family or even just by myself for some meditation time. That is the equation for MY personal fitness plan. You have to find what YOU will enjoy, what will motivate you to stay plugged in and excited to continue doing and what makes YOUR body and mind feel their best. It'll take trial and error.

Eating healthfully--and this involves good food choices as well as appropriate portion sizes--is also a hugely important part of deepening my personal relationship with myself. I've had my annoying days as an obsessive foodie. It's as annoying as piss on a pickle to have obsessive people around (I can say that because I have often been the annoying one); so much better to achieve balance and enjoy your food. I now find that I can't stand the word "diet." I find that it's a helpful part of my regimin to have meals and snacks all planned out and shopped for in advance so that I'm not left hanging after a rigorous workout starving to death with no healthy snack to reach for! Quick fixes always seem to be calorie-laden bombs. Calorie-laden bombs are often the types of foods that just compound the problem of feeling unmotivated and bleh. Good food makes you feel good. It's energizing and doesn't weigh you down mentally, emotionally and physically. Matt (my husband) and I have been really trying to take note of how our bodies react to different foods and to avoid the ones that we seem to have some sort of negative reaction to (tiredness, irritability, allergic reaction, etc) and gravitate toward the foods that make us feel terrific. There are a lot of interesting written resources on the subject. We've found that there's no easy formula to follow. You kind of have to make the commitment to just enjoy the self discovery. Keep a food journal to help you remember.

Healthy fitness and eating plans often fail us, I think, because we think of them as something we HAVE to do. For those of you who believe in God, it's like a relationship with him...or it's even like a relationship with your parents: You don't HAVE to come to them--to spend time with them deepening the relationship...but it sure is a lovely thing when we do! If we think of exercising and eating right as something we HAVE TO DO we feel rebellious and eventually revolt and toss in the towel. It's also similar to a situation I experienced with some of my students today. They were asked to write a narrative on a prompt and 3 of the students absolutely stiffened up and closed their minds refusing to write. After saying some encouraging words and reminding them of some basics I asked them to think of it a different way: Think of it as Ms Lisa giving you permission to actively daydream in school ('actively' meaning they just had to WRITE about the things they were daydreaming about). Sometimes we just have to adjust our outlook--our take on things--look at a situation with rose-colored glasses (you friends and relatives of mine know how very Bohemian I am...I had to throw that in). :) Cast into the fire your past ideas of what exercise and healthy eating represent and think about making the commitment to discover your authentic self. Tell yourself that you DESERVE to feel and be healthy! You deserve the small amount of time each day to devote to moving in a way that your body and mind enjoys. Now just get going on trying out different activities...classes, dvds, outdoor activities. Come to me for ideas and encouragement if you need to! Just get moving and discover that the beauty who is YOU is not a carbon cutout of somebody else. You are unique and beautiful. ~Go discover that.~

In peace~

Lisa

A bevy of miscommunications and the misery they bring us! "Get Real" topic #2

I'm a firm believer that just about every single problem, challenge, frustration or source of irritatation stems, in SOME way, from a breakdown of some kind in communication. I've said for a number of years now that, if I ever made it to graduate school, I'd want to do my thesis on that particular subject because there's such a wealth of continually supplied evidence to back up my claim! My thoughts headed in that direction after I started to take pause in my own life when roadblocks of whatever kind would hit. I could always trace the origination of the problem back to a lack of communication or a miscommunication of some kind.

Yesterday, I talked about how relationships are golden (they are the gems of life, afterall!) but they can be very difficult at times. We have to live with a spirit of perseverence to continue with relationships successfully. It probably seems obvious that communication is a crucial element of that relational mainenance but I think, even grasping that basic premise, we routinely fall short of making EFFECTIVE communication happen? Why? I think that maybe the reasons are varied for different people and that there are several factors going on for each of us. This post is just meant to get us all thinking...not meant to judge but to offer up some observations and encourage folks to take part in discussion here or quiet reflection and a personal quest for good communication.

So, my two cents worth of observations:

~Communication is wonky because the basic idea of it (discourse of some kind with another person) is uncomfortable for people. Sometimes it's a matter of shyness (and you often feel better once you break the ice and just get the communication GOING); sometimes it's more an issue of being nervous about what the other person will say or do in response to the subject matter you wish to discuss with them.

~We're living in such an exciting technological era with so many avenues of communication available at our fingertips. We've got landlines, cellphones, texting, emailing, instant messaging and wallposting on social networks available (oh! and don't forget my beloved 'snail mail)! I LOVE the potential that all of these tools offer us for staying in touch with one another. For example, numerous fellow classmates and I reconnected with eachother on Facebook approximately a year before our last reunion. We spent time on FB getting reacquainted with eachother and catching up on both old times and new so that, by the time we got together for our reunion, the typical ice was already broken and we all had a casual, relaxed, terrific time! I'm also able to post pictures to share with family and friends from across the country--such a great way of staying plugged into the lives of loved ones. I still think that the benefits far outweigh the challenges but there are some points to consider:

Though I LOVE the fact that texting is such a convenient way to get a message to somebody (I'm often not available to take/make calls during my workday and, conversely, I don't want to be ringing people into the later evening hours and disrupting their nighttime routines), there is SUCH incredible room for misunderstandings that arise from the nature of texting. Abbreviated spellings and such short/sweet messages leave out the details that are sometimes necessary to understand a person's true meaning, tone, specific details and the like. A person might text a funny but sarcastic remark to another person only to result in the other person taking personal offense because they didn't take it as a joke. Emails bring about the same potential for misunderstood intentions in that they often do not convey true tone and mood of the author to it's recipient. For this reason, I try to write emails, texts and even handwritten letters with 'feeling.' You can probably get a sense of what I mean just by reading my blog posts. With the use of quotation marks, carefully chosen words, certain words in italics or caps to show emphasis, etc you can give your reader a more accurate message.

EVEN with careful thought placed into the creation of your texts and emails, however, there is still such room for misinterpretation. This often just boils down to basic semantics (good ole gifted English! I'll FOREVER remember this lesson that Mrs Dempsey taught us at Edgewater High!): We each have a different memory bank of experiences, different grasps of vocabulary, different thoughts and such and all of that plays a part in how we process information. I might type a Facebook wallpost, for example, with a particular thing in my mind that is completely taken differently by another person! Then that person draws an inaccurate conclusion of what you meant and bases THEIR actions on the inaccurate conclusion. Let me try to think of an example...hmm...ok, this may be a rather weak one but for example's sake let's say that a friend has just become an Avon Rep and asks me (via facebook wallpost) if I would like to order something. I mention to her that I can't at this time because I'm flat broke but would love to someday in the future. Then, a month or so later I receive an awsome Avon gift for Christmas and type up a wallpost about how much I LOVE my new Avon lipgloss! My friend reads it and 'ASSUMES' that I've ordered from somebody else...feels hurt and betrayed and unfriends me. Then, there I am left feeling like a wounded dove myself and not knowing what happened. The uncomfortable part of the scenario could have been avoided had the Avon friend simply asked (and she could've done it in a joking sort of way), "Hey! I thought you were going to buy that lipgloss from me! Your ole buddy!" I then have the chance to explain and all is good with the relationship.

I think we have to keep in mind, too, that when we're communicating in writing we have to add more detail to get an accurate point across. This is opposite, I think, of what usually ends up happening as remember with texting, IM'ing and such we often abbreviate. Sooo much room for misunderstandings! Ok, so we have technology on our sides but it's important to remember good communication skills. Think about what you type and how it COULD be perceived by the receiver...is there a chance they'll take it to mean something else. As I mentioned yesterday, I've found it to be a good clue that you've got some tweaking to do in the communication dept if you find yourself often frustrated that people are misunderstanding you.

~Face to face communication is beauty! What a great opportunity to enjoy the company of friends, relatives, coworkers and to also get to know new people! But miscommunications can even happen when we talk directly with people...especially if it's an uncomfortable subject that's being discussed. People are people. We get defensive if we feel we're being challenged or doubted and we go into that 'defend myself' mode sometimes. There's nothing more FRUSTRATING than trying to hold a conversation with a person...you're making eye contact with them, trying to remain calm and to have an even keel, adult conversation and they kick into major defense mode...they interrupt and keep tossing retorts back to you. They open their eyes wide and nod their head 'yes' as if they're listening to what you have to say but you get a sense that they're just waiting to fire the next retort that's been churning in their minds. It's tempting to keep pushing through that conversation...especially we women. We like to talk things out and get things resolved NOW! Sometimes, though, I think we have to step away for a time if things get too heated. Try to come to an agreement that it'd be a good idea to step away from the conversation right now...maybe to each think about what the other has said so far...and to come back and pick up the discussion at a later time. SOMEtimes we humans get tired or cranky for various reasons and just blow off steam. There's often some validity to the points we try to make but maybe we add a little extra drama just because of the timing....that ole 'wake up in the morning and feel tons better' kind of situation. Your communication thorn may be as simple as that. It may not...it may require more work. All you can do is do YOUR best to communicate honestly, in a way that is respectful of the person you're communicating with and as succinct as you can be. Look for signs that your message might have been misinterpreted and don't be afraid to speak up in a kindly way to ask for clarification.

I think we also need to free with our apologies if we realize that we were in error with our communicating and not take it as a personal afront. We get so uptight sometimes! I have such HUGE respect for people with humility. I can think of a dozen people right off the top of my head (I work with many of them!) who are so very gracious and who readily offer up an, "Omgosh, I'm so sorry! What I should have said was...." blah blah blah. They keep recognize signs that there was a misunderstanding and don't pass the buck or place blame but own up to it and apologize then clarify! Gosh I love that! So many folks just get so defensive and short-tempered if they've miscommunicated...OR they have that same reaction when taking somebody ELSE's comment the wrong way and harbor a grudge as opposed to trying to clarify and come to a more accurate understanding.

I guess fear really seems to be an underlying factor in a lot of miscommunications. We're afraid of what could happen. We're afraid of being wrong. We're afraid of being left out. Let us all remember that we are HUMAN and, again, are not perfect. But let us LEARN from our mistakes. If a pattern is recurring and no attempt is made to change then THAT can be a whole different issue all together (maybe meat for tomorrow's blog!) but, for those of us who yearn for authentic relationships of all kinds with others let us remember to also strive for effective communication. I'm convinced that it's a long learning process. Perhaps it's one that will never come to full closure. But the continual attempt to communicate WELL with others and to clarify misunderstandings and also not be ashamed, afraid or hesitant to admit to and apologize for a mistake will be yet another way you can demonstrate to others your level of care for them AND bring a joy and authenticity to your life.

Peace and joy~

Lisa

A little r-e-s-p-e-c-t, please? "Get Real" topic #1

My mind is such swirl of thoughts from day to day experiences and general observations. But, where to start? Wheeeere to start? If I try to hit on everything all in one post I'll have a novel (Hey, though! Isn't that one of my life's goals)?! So I guess for now I'll begin this new year with a post about something that I think should be so obvious and so integral in all of our lives but something that is obviously so incredibly squelched: the subject of respect--common courtesy--a spirit of caring for others and giving a darn about something other than our own agenda. I'm going to 'get real' with this post and with several to come. I've always been forthcoming with my intentions but I may be a little more bold in these next few writings.

I think it's fairly common that most of us experience moments of 'Me-ness' where we become so blinded by our own problems, feelings, ailments, goals (you fill in the blank) that we dive so far within ourselves...so much so that we forget to notice how our words (or lack of them), our facial expressions, our body language and all other actions and interactions are impacting those around us. Granted, some of you may NOT give a royal rat's patootie about anybody else. I'd be willing to bet, though, that most of us DO want to be involved in healthy relationships of all kinds. We'd like to foster relationships with immediate family, extended family and friends--friends both inside and outside the realm of work. But relationships are hard. Let me clarify. LASTING relationships (of whatever kind..family, spousal, friends, whatever) are hard!

Because we are human, this whole 'we are not perfect' idea enters into play and muddies things up. All sorts of STUFF gets in the way of our experiencing smooth sailing relationships. Some of it's external and out of our control but I'd be willing to lay down a chip and bet that if each of us focused more on giving our all when it comes to relationships and not worry so much about what WE are NOT GETTING then seas actually WOULD be incredibly smoother. It's that darn "ME-ness," though. That ever-intrusive "Me-ness" mist floats on in. It clouds our senses and assaults our very core.

At the school I work at, part of the motto that we teach our children is that we will be "respectful, responsible problem solvers." It's a GREAT motto! It is critical that children learn to embody these 3 elements. Ideally, they should be learning them at home as well as at school. I'm so very honored to work with so many fine individuals, be friends with such incredible people and am proud to have fantastic people in my family who embrace this way of life. Then there are those--along with so many strangers that I simply observe in daily life--who fall short in one or more areas--regularly. (Again, we ALL have our days. It goes along with that whole not being perfect thing). The "respectful" piece of the pie is the one that's particularly disenchanting for me these days. How can children learn from us if we are falling short? Actually, they're learning alright. But they're learning to live by the opposing forces: negativity, disrespect, lack of commitment, inability to hold face to face conversation.

Ok, you're sitting there by yourself reading this post. Nobody's lurking over your shoulder...let's just quietly and with an OPEN MIND think about a couple of things. Do you do any of these things:
~Interrupt often or even completely ignore somebody when they are trying to talk with you in casual conversation...or get defensive and jump in with 'your story' before hearing another person out when it's a touchy subject for you?

~Do you greet a person--even just with a smile and polite head nod--when they enter a room or an area in which you are or do you just ignore them and keep going about your business or your conversation without acknowledging that somebody just entered?!

~Do you SMILE at people as you walk or drive past or do you think most people would notice a scowl or furrowing of the brow or other irritated look on your face (or even a blank stare)?

~When somebody offers to help you with something do you SMILE at them and say "Yes please" or "No, thank you" or are you gruff and short with them?

~Do you latch onto and harbor grudges forever and a day?

~Do you effectively communicate (this is a topic for a completely different post!) with people or do you take shortcuts in communication or ignore it all together because you feel uncomfortable with it (a clue that you might want to improve communication might be if people are often misunderstanding what you mean or your intentions...perhaps you THINK you are communicating well but...well, as I said, we'll talk about that later)

~Do you delete friends from social networking sites or simply refuse to call or write friends or family rather than simply having a conversation (written or spoken) about a topic that has upset you? Did it occur to you that YOU might have misunderstood?

~For goodness sake, are you following the golden rule?? Are you treating people the same way you would like to be treated? Seriously?

~Do you find it hard to be respectful of a friend or loved one when their ideas or beliefs are different from your own? For example, would you run to your computer and delete a friend because they mention they hate dogs if you're a dog lover?

~Are you friendly or, let me be frank, are you a drag to be around. Is it possible that you are really friendly with those folks you're 'tight' with but, for whatever reason, do you turn into that character with the stripey tights in Wizard of Oz (hint: she's the one with the black, pointy hat) if somebody you're not close with OR somebody you're trying to 'teach a lesson to' enters the room?

~Do you cop out of commitments routinely (not talking about the occasional scheduling conflict that pops up...I mean, are you a 'no show' continually to important things and/or things that you commit to)?

I could sit here for a few more minutes and think of more but I think this gives us enough to chew on for now. All of these things somehow tie into being respectful of other people. Holding good relationships starts with the awareness of all other people around us and a desire to create positivity and balance with others. We're not going to enter into relationships with every person we come across but pretty much every contact you have with another person has the potential to make or break their day. How we carry ourselves throughout our days, how we interact with other people speaks volumes about the kind of person we are. How we treat our friends and loved ones lets them know, directly, how important they are to you. We like to say, "He/she is such a wonderful friend we don't have to communicate with eachother; we just KNOW we're there!" This IS true, to a certain extent, with some relationships. It's sort of like the ability to be next to somebody you care about and not have to SAY something every second...it's SORT of like that...but not really. You see, people that we are in relationships with DO want to hear from us. They DO want us to show up to gatherings or make plans, from time to time, to get together. They DO want us to write letters and to chit chat. These actions DO SHOW THAT WE CARE...that we respect the people in our lives.

For many of us it's that we've gotten out of the habit of being responsible, respectful loved ones and friends. We've allowed this busy culture and our own agenda to deceive us into thinking we can't allow any spare time for the relationships in our lives. As I said, it's HARD to keep the fire burning. It takes effort. It takes effort to smile sometimes. It takes effort to hold a conversation that you might initially feel nervous about having. It takes effort to write a letter (and mail it), to schedule a workout/play/tea/coffee date with a friend, to say 'hello' to people when your mind is on your problems. Let me tell you, though....it is so worth it! AND...and...it gets easier the more you do it. It's like embarquing on a marathon training program. It seems overwhelmingly impossible in the beginning then gets a little easier. You experience highs and lows along the way but you get so strong at the end and glean such a sense of gratification when you stick it out and achieve your goal! Your medal for all of your efforts will be the lasting relationships in your life...the people who will be there for you through thick and through thin because you treated them with respect. YOU stuck it out with THEM and that gets reciprocated!

If we could all just think about taking this respect thing day by day. Make the absolute most out of each day you are blessed with. Sure, it's easy to linger in the doldrums but it's so much more fun to rise above it all despite the hard work! Try something I like to do and go into Walmart sometime (that infernal place!) and just smile at everyone! *Note* It works better if you make the smiles genuine "How are you doing today?" sort of smiles as opposed to raving lunatic grins...I'd hate to have my readers following my blog from loony bins across the country! :) Anyway, I'm simply asking you all to join me right now in making the commitment to really thinking about the feelings of others and acting accordingly. We know we're not perfect but we can certainly try to fall into our beds each evening knowing we did our best to bring a bit of joy to those who crossed our paths that day as opposed to dropping a wet blanket over their heads.

~In peace~
Lisa

Oh, and P.S....It's really important that you be GENUINE in your kindness toward others...not patronizing, fake or superficial. REALLY LISTEN to people! People know when you are really listening and paying attention to them and when you're faking it. ;)

Purge the Stinkin' Thinkin'

I really dislike the word 'stinkin.' It's so overused, I guess (sort of like "awsome)." It's perfect for my subject 'o the day, though, because it's lodged itself in so many of our minds...ok, ok...and it rhymes. BY the way, 3 months since last I blogged??!! INEXCUSABLE! Please accept my humblest of humble apologies for not placing my messages high enough on the totem pole (and how is a writer-at-heart supposed to become a writer-in-action unless she WRITES)? I've really had beaucoodles to share with you, my friends, I just need to make doing so a priority.


At any rate, how many of you can honestly say you never have any worries and that life is always completely rosey and you feel on top of the world no matter what? A lot of us might like to SAY or THINK that we are just a bucket of sunshine no matter what goes on in our lives but I challenge you to take a closer look--an honest look--at your every behavior. See if the way people see you on the outside truly jives with how you think you act.

Mind chatter can take over in an instant. Rather, oftentimes our worries about money or relationships or our jobs or any number of other things can take up so much of our focus and energies that we don't even realize how we allow those thoughts to take over and, in fact, guide our lives into a negative spiral. Whether we mean to or not, we allow so many random thoughts about our worries to linger in our brains which then weasel their way into our hearts and souls--into the very core of who we are.

I'd heard a couple of friends casually mentioning the book "The Secret," by Rhonda Byrne awhile back and my interest was picqued. My husband knew I wanted to read it and bought it for me for my birthday back in May. FINALLY, I've started grabbing--no, MAKING time to read (reading is one of my passions and I think everybody should read a little bit of a BOOK every day) and I feel like I've come home in this book, The Secret. I don't want to give away any details. The Secret is really a book that I think everybody should experience first-hand; it's a quick one to get through, by the way, but it's a keeper. It's one you'll likely read more than once. The crux of the book is sharing with people the message that you attract to you that which you spend your thoughts and energies on. Think about it for a second. Money issues are huge for many of us right now so let's take that example. You may be doing things to try to dig yourself out of a money situation right now: taking on an extra job, selling stuff off, etc, but you're likely spending an extensive amount of time thinking about your LACK of money, your mounting bills and all of the snowballing challenges all of that brings. The basic idea is that what you continue to dwell on you will continue to find coming your way! Dwell on the LACK of money and how much you NEED it you will continue to find yourself LACKING and NEEDING money! You've got to get playful and creative with the situation and convince yourself that you have enough and you will eventually find that this is the case.

To glean the full impact of the book, with all of it's poignant and personal examples, you really have to read it. I can tell you, though, that it reinforced what I really knew to be true in my heart. It's more than just positive thinking. Positive thinking is a good start and it's long since been one of my personal platforms. It is, however, only the beginning. You have to actually starting thinking and believing that the things you want to happen in your life are in progress. They are already set in motion! Make room for them! ACT as if they are going to happen and be ready to receive them. I want to be a writer. I'm going to just start thinking that I already AM a writer--for I am! I may not be published yet but I WILL. I WANT to go to Ireland. I've wanted that ever since I was a child but, in all honesty, I've always thought of it as some remote, unreachable goal that 'will happen someday.' If I continue to think of it as such a remote possibility it will always just be out of my grasp.

Another point to consider is the idea of kindness and generosity. I don't know about you but I aim to be a kind soul who brings genuine happiness to others. I'm not perfect. I have my hot buttons. I aim, however, to keep myself in check and not be a comPLAINER or a griper. When I give something or do something I want to do it out of the feeling of abundance. I want to possess, as The Secret mentions, the thoughts that, "I have everything I need and I'd like to share with you." The author brings up yet another wonderful point in that if you feel like you doing something sacrificially then it stems from a feeling of LACK whereas if you give of yourself or give things or money from the standpoint of "There's plenty and I want to share" it comes from a feeling of abundance and abundance will then find it's way back to you. It's a WHOLE new way of training yourself to think and feel and I LOVE it! What an explosively positive world this would be if we all focused our our abundance and not our lack!

Something to look for when you read through The Secret is the explanation of a tool she suggests using called a "vision board." I'm creating one for myself today. It's a visual presentation of all of your distinct hopes and dreams. You keep it in a prominant location so that you not only see it daily but believe in it daily. Cut our magazine pictures and attach other visual prompts tied to your dreams and then change them out as one dream or goal comes true after another. We humans have this great ability to allow 'stinkin' thinkin' to cloud our minds, take over and hold us from our positive potential. It's time to purget that crap and start truly focusing (in action, not just in theory) on positivity and on the things we WANT out of life...not on the things we want OUT of our lives. Maybe you KNOW you're bogged down and focused on the negative stuff in your life. Maybe you THINK you're a diehard think positive individual but you just can't understand why you're stuck in hard times. I call you to be honest with yourself about where your day in/day out thoughts really lie and what your actions speak of. Do you talk about people all of the time? Do you wallow in bad situation? Do you harbour grudges? Yep, bad stuff happens that is out of our control but it IS within our power to choose whether or not to let go of the bad. Who are you hurting if you don't? What point are you proving and to whom by not letting go of some unfair thing somebody has done to you?

The true answer is there for you if you look and if you are honest with yourself.

So! I'm off to create my vision board! What fun this will be! It's kind of reminiscent of the "Illustrated Discovery Journal" that Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of "Simple Abundance" (another favorite of mine) suggests as a helpful tool in discovering who we really are. Oh happy day, folks! Let's take spring cleaning a step further this summer and get moving on tossing out all of those negative thoughts...all of those thoughts about what haunts us. If you have such a thought, notice it and acknowledge it but then let it go and turn, instead, to the bright world of your hopes and dreams. Think on them as already being a part of you for any hope and dream that you hold in your heart and mind is just that: real.

A new path: I've gone Vegan~

A close friend of mine recently recommended a book to me that would, in effect, change the path of my life forever--for the better. The book is Alicia Silverstone's The Kind Diet which tells the long and sordid tale of the journey of food from source to our table--to be specific: meat, dairy and eggs. I'll leave the details of the book for it's author to share with you but suffice it to say that my heart was moved after reading merely the first chapter. Alicia had gotten my attention and had called me to action. I not only decided to become a vegetarian but to take it a step further by making the bold move to become vegan.

A high school friend asked me, out of sheer curiosity, what moved me to make a decision so "late" in life (That's my paraphrasing of his question, by the way. He was much more gracious than to word it like that and we are still spring chickens afterall...ugh...poor choice of metaphors for this subject though). It was a good question though. My family has, afterall, been very careful to eat healthfully and to make good choices such as eating whole grains, lean proteins and limiting sugar intake. While we aren't heavy meat eaters and often eat vegetarian dishes we did eat chicken, fish, pork, and beef with fair regularity. This healthy way of eating was impressed upon me early as my mom and stepdad cooked healthfully and introduced us to non meat products such as "Tenderbits--" a rather delicious faux scallop-ish sort of...well, stuff. My mom would toss rolled oats into her chocolate chip cookies accompanied by much teenage EYE rolling from me. But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, no matter how hard the apple tries to toss itself when it's going through it's teen years. I matured into an adult who was mindful of what she ate and what she prepared for her family.

Still, though, we ate meat.

I'd always wondered what it'd be like to become a vegetarian but never really had the motivation or the gumption to try it out on an exclusive basis...until I read The Kind Diet. The friend who suggested the book has been a vegetarian for years as a result of her strong feelings against the harsh treatment of animals. Both of us had an awakening upon reading the book and have had several discussions with eachother about it. There was not a doubt in my mind that I wanted to do my part to make a difference. With mild concern over the fact that this was a lifelong, long-term decision with no lookin' back and a few thoughts of "Oh my gosh, am I really going to be able to do this thing," I mustered up my gumption and plunged myself into the world of becoming a vegan and in learning exactly what that means.

I'm still learning. I feel like a sponge. There's so much to read up on, so much to find out about, so much to research and plan. My basic plan is that I don't eat meat of any kind nor do I eat any dairy products or eggs. I also, in keeping with the plan of doing the best for my health, limit to a bare minimum any kind of refined flour, sugar and also artificial sweeteners. As a vegan, I'm choosing not to use any product that has been tested on animals or contains animal product. This is where the research comes into play--where I'm really having to do my homework. I need to be choosy about what cosmetics and skincare products as well as which laundry and pet products I purchase...clothing, bedding, everything!

Vegetarianism and Veganism is not a game or a contest for me. My reasons for choosing this path are very personal and hold great meaning and value to me. I'm not looking to earn any kind of brownie points by labeling myself as a vegan but am trying to improve upon my health, my athletic performance (several elite athetes, including Ironman Triathlete Brendan Brazier, will testify as to it's astounding effectiveness), and to do something positive for our environment as well as to take a stand for all animals. I'd recently been dwelling on the fact that 'we shoulda bought a hybrid!' type of thoughts but an interesting fact I recently learned is that you more effectively and dramatically reduce the amount of emissions by becoming vegan than by buying a hybrid vehicle! What a strong stance we can take--and truly make a positive difference--while doing something great for our bodies at the same time in making this choice. But I want to live and lead by example...not by brandishing some sort of "I AM VEGAN" badge. I want to walk the walk...you know?

It helps that I already love fruits and veggies, brown rice, whole oats and other whole grains, beans and tofu. Matt and I were already drinking green smoothies too. I found a wonderful vegan whole wheat pancake recipe this past weekend. My biggest adjustment, truly, has been in how I take my coffee. I've always really looked forward to it as my sweet and creamy treat...with a couple of Splendas and a couple of T of half and half. It took some adjusting but I'm enjoying my coffee with Stevia and I alternate plain coconut milk with almond 'milk.' I'm getting used to the actual taste of COFFEE. Don't know that I will EVER take it black like my husband keeps trying to get me to do (bleh) but I never say never. :D That's something else I learned from Alicia's book: eating dairy actually leaves a coating on your tongue that inhibits your taste buds from realizing their full potential! Flavors come alive once you cut the dairy out!

Enhanced flavor is just one benefit. I'm hoping to realize many health benefits but we'll need time to provide the answers in that experiment. It's been shown to reduce if not eliminate allergies, cancer, all sorts of baddies! After only two weeks, though, my middle (as in my core) is really started to tighten up! I feel tighter and lighter. When I look at my face in the mirror I can see a vibrance. My skin's in excellent shape! Plus, I just feel super~ Some of you might say, "Well, YEAH, Lisa. You're eating nothing but veggies! You're going to shed some excess!" No, dear friends, I'm eating whole grains, fruits, beans, natural peanut butter, nuts, soy products and the occasional creamy soy desserts (like Tofutti). I haven't been counting calories but I can tell you that I'm in touch enough with that subject to know what I'm taking in and it's pretty close to what I was consuming in calories before my switch. What's different is the content. WHAT you eat DOES make a difference. I can feel it. Matt and I had already started actively listening to our bodies in terms of what they need; we cut out alcohol entirely (we were only occasional wine or beer drinkers anyway) back around Oct or November because of how even one drink left us feeling. This pathway into veganism seemed a natural part of this flow for me.

So, I'll keep you posted on my journey. It's not a diet (I don't like that word anyway). It's a complete life change. I'm not here to judge anybody for their choices or eating habits...only to provide feedback from my own experiences and to share with you if you'd like to hear it. Would love to hear of your experiences as well. I commend anybody for ANY amount of positive change they can make to their eating habits. Going full tilt boogie on becoming a vegetarian or vegan may not be how you want to go. Perhaps you want to dabble around in it a bit. I don't think ANY of us should be judgemental...neither those like myself who choose the vegan or vegetarian lifestyle nor those who maybe have incorporated some elements of vegetarianism but who haven't embraced it fully. We are all different with different sets of circumstances, feelings, goals and outlooks. But any amount of change that we can make to positively and kindly impact our world is a wonderful thing~

As always,

~Peace~

Part 2: The other side of the coin

I wrote last time about the responsibility we parents have to teach our children that they are of supreme value no matter what exterior package they find themselves wrapped in. I talked about the importance of not focusing on "I need to lose weight" or "I'm fat" dialogue but looking for and eminating a positive self image. Our children mimic what we do. They look to us, follow our lead and live according to the lifestyle they've lived with us. All of that is an unbelievably important part of helping your children develop a positive self image for themselves. That being said, the second part of the equation touches on our obligation to train up our children to be active individuals.

If we sit around on the couch all day eating crap food and playing video games our children are going to learn to do the same. It's one thing to take the occasional time out and enjoy some gaming but another to make that behavior a habit. It still amazes me, too, at the continuous stream of people I'll witness circling a store parking lot to get that close parking spot when they could have parked a little distance away and walked into the store in a quarter of the time! People look for whatever shortcut they can to avoid walking, jumping, bending, stooping...it's a sad state to be in. We were created for so much more. We were created as strong, able individuals. No, we don't have to gather our food (well, some do!), build our domiciles and rummage around outside for any of a number of natural materials to create any of a number of necessities. But our bodies are still such that we DO need to take care to be creatures of movement. Inactivity=unhappiness and poor health.

As a substitute teacher I have the priveledge of working with a large number of children. I've actually been blessed with the opportunity to sub P.E. on a fairly regular basis this school year. We had the opportunity to talk about the importance of playing outside and of being active. Many children willingly and candidly offered to the discussion the tidbit that their families sit around at home and do nothing on a regular basis. Most of you from my generation (70's and 80's) remember how we'd be cut loose to run around and play outside from the moment we finished homework until the sun went down. As a family, we'd ride our bikes around the neighborhood, go for hikes at local parks, jump the waves at the beach, play croquet and toss around a Frisbee. My home was one centered not so much on organized sports but on the arts (which I'm also passionate about). I didn't get into sports until I jumped into soccer--and then added crew--in high school. But even my art-centered family recognized the importance and value in movement and in finding an outdoor activity that is FUN!

That's the key, my friends. You must find activities that you and your family enjoy doing and then, well, you've got to do them...REGULARLY! True, I'm an athlete and I enjoy running, biking and swimming. I enjoy participating in 5K runs, half and full marathons and triathlons. While these goals may seem lofty for some of you, I think you'd be surprised by how attaintable they truly are. I also realize, however, that running is not everybody's 'bag.' I AM pleased that our entire family is participating in a 5K together this coming weekend (it'll be our girls' first; our son has already finished several) but there are other things we like to do together to stay active.

Take this week--Spring Break--as an example. I haven't done my first run this week and I've been off from both jobs. But we've been super active all week. Monday we went to a nearby park and went letterboxing. This involves lots of hiking around while following clues to find a 'planted' hidden package containing a rubber stamp. We hiked around for a good couple of hours. Tuesday we went to the beach and jumped some waves followed by another hour of letterboxing at a park in Cape Canaveral (which just happened to include an exercise trail! Right up our alley!) ;) Yesterday we relaxed at home for awhile then, inspired by our favorite scene in Twilight, headed off to our local baseball park to play family baseball. We blasted our Twilight soundtrack out of the truck. Muse's Supermassive Black Hole always makes me feel, now, like I'll bust onto the baseball diamond with excessive speed, vertical leaping ability and a throwing arm that'll send a ball a mile down the road. Vampire superpowers aside (we don't really have them, hehe), we had such a great time that we found ourselves glued to the diamond; we played a 1/2 hour beyond the time limit we'd set for ourselves! We hadn't even driven away when everybody was saying, "Let's do this again tomorrow!" (and boy was it a workout).

Regular exercise results in such a feeling of peace. Those endorphins kick in and make everything feel peachy. Stress melts away. You're able to better DEAL with any stress that attempts to flutter its wings at you. You sleep sooo much better. With proper nutrition (another critical key we'll touch on later) exercise helps your body maintain it's proper balance, shape and level of ability. My friend Shelly and I really love Nike's longtime slogan: "Just Do It!" I'm a firm believer. It's so easy to make excuses and to let one day of inactivity merge into the next. Before you know it (because we all know how blasted quickly time passes) you AND your children have had several years of experience as professional couch potatoes.

FIND SOMETHING (S) YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN LIKE TO DO TOGETHER that involves movement! Try different things. I've mentioned several. If you're lucky like we are to live in Florida you've got water everywhere! SWIM! We have our own pool and, in the summer, we live in it. If you don't have your own pool there are lakes and public pools and beaches everywhere. Play ball: baseball, basketball, kickball, soccer, football. Play catch, toss a frisbee. There's a great game that we have and love to play called "Cosmic Keepaway." Look for it at your local Wallyworld or Target, etc. Run together. Change it up. No need to do the same thing all the time. Keep it fresh but JUST DO IT! If you've been doing this, you know exactly what I mean. If not, you're heart will be warmed by the quality together time it provides for you and your family. Not only will you be setting your children up for a positive lifestyle and self image but you'll be doing YOUR body and mind a world of good!

By the way, BeachBody has a couple of fun workouts for children. We have both of them and do them from time to time together for fun. Shawn T put one of them out and it's part of his "Fit Kids Club" and the other one seems more geared toward smaller children (like preschool, k and 1st). It's by P90X's Tony Horton and it's called Tony and the Kids. Pick these up from my website in the BeachBody store by logging onto http://www.beachbodycoach.com/LisaErin

Keep it fun! Keep it positive! Keep the movement flowing~

As always, I welcome comments and am here for you if you need help or encouragement or just want to exchange ideas.

~Peace~

Lisa

Do your children a favor...STOP talking about losing weight!

What, Lisa? You want me to take the focus off of losing weight? I didn't say that at all, dear friends. What I'm talking about is this continuing stupid cycle of placing so much focus on 'being thin.' We still talk all the time of needing to lose weight; we obsess about how we used to look and how we really need to lose 10, 20, 30 pounds or more. What's worse is that people--usually moms--make these dreaded comments in front of their children. Wake up, folks! If you're guilty of doing this then you're part of the cultural impact bombarding our children with the desire and need to fit into a particular (ie: skinny) mold in order to be of worth and value. Time to man (or woman) up to the part we've played in this horrible situation and do something positive to change it.

I suffered from an eating disorder in high school. It's a lurking, secretive, horrible burden to bear. Let it be said that I didn't fall into mine because my mom obsessed about weight (she never did...she was always awsome about helping us discover our beauty within and for praising us for who we were and not what we looked like). I fell into my problem for other reasons--I tend to be a perfectionist and, I believe, a bit obsessive compulsive. Who knows why? Genetics? Life situations? It's anybody's guess. Go to this website for some good, basic info on eating disorders: http://www.eatingdisordersonline.com/eating-disorders-statistics

Our children are not oblivious flies on the wall. Just yesterday, I was talking with a friend about how intuitive and adept at observation children are. In other words, they don't miss a beat, people. They catch your miserable glances at yourself in the mirror. They quietly listen to you complaining to your friend about how 'fat and bloated you feel,' about how you wish you were as skinny as you used to be and about how you're just going to starve yourself and work out like crazy to lose that weight. Then, they file that info away into the recesses of their brains and they store them in their hearts and these tidbits become the foundation that will haunt them forever. Raising an American Girl (a great book, by the way) talks about how these types of comments make girls feel that the natural changes their bodies will be going through are unwelcomed and something to fight. Boys are not immune to eating disorders either. Many, many suffer.

Many folks DO need to change their incredibly bad habits related to their eating and lack of exercise and, the truth of it is, so many folks (Americans in particular...we ARE so flippin' fat!) need to lose weight! The key is in placing the focus not on looking a certain way but on being healthy...being healthy so that you:

~FEEL great

~have energy to do the things you want to do and play with your children!

~decrease risk of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and all sorts of ailments

~live, God-willing, a wonderfully fullfilling and healthy long life

~be strong enough to function in life--lift things, climb flights of stairs, carry packages, etc

~ maintain Joie de Vivre!

If you ARE overweight then you do need to formulate an action plan to get healthy. There are lots of 'skinny' folks who are terribly unhealthy, though. People all over this country could stand to look into eating clean and getting active. Place your emphasis on goals such as those above as opposed to 'being skinny/think,' looking a certain way and on losing weight. You can make your journey toward good health a family affair. Tell your children that you're tired of being too tired to run and play with them and that you're making some changes so that you can enjoy the great outdoors together! Make a point of saying positive things about yourself and about your children...and PLEASE! Do not continually compliment them on 'how pretty they are,' or 'how thin they are.' Tell they you're proud of how well they read, how well spoken, well-mannered or respectful they are of others. Let them know you think it's awsome that they did 5 pull-ups at school when they tell you about it (and if they don't, ASK them what they've been up to in P.E).

Drop me a line if you need encouragement and direction. You can leave me a message here, find me on facebook (Lisa Fitzgerald Amos) or email me at Lpebbles2@aol.com. My BeachBody website www.beachbodycoach.com/LisaErin is loaded with tools to help you get and stay on track (such as a BMI calculator to give you the proper info on how much weight you actually need to lose and a calorie calculator to assist you in setting up a successful eating plan). Our children absolutely love getting active with us...be it a run outdoors (we're all doing a 5K road race together next weekend) or one of our BeachBody workouts to name a few.

Do your children one of the biggest justices you possibly can by checking your 'diet' and 'weight loss' talk at the door and focusing on being healthy, happy and fully enriched by togetherness, relationships, art, music and all that jazz~~~♫♪~~ Until next time...~~slainte!~~

How to Get Fit When You've Got a Suffocating Schedule

No time for working out because you're working so much? I hear ya, my friends. Due to circumstances stemming from the current economy, I had to take on a second job 4 weeknights per week. I was already a substitute teacher and was working as often as I could. Blessedly, when this night job opportunity came my way I simultaneously started working fulltime at the school during the day--still as a substitute for now. I was not only aware of but have long-since experienced the benefits of good fitness first hand so was distraught at being too busy to be able to fit workouts into my new schedule. I love to send up praises for these jobs because I love both of them, the people with whom I work, the children I teach and the chance to meet our financial needs and start getting some things paid off. If I were really honest (and those who know me KNOW that I cleave to honesty) I would have to admit that, even through the blessings, I've had gnawing yearning to reincorporate regular exercise and training back into my routine. But how?! I was hardly getting enough sleep as it was!

I know so many of you are facing the same challenge in your lives. We're working harder than ever these days and are so busy! What precious time we do have we want to spend with our families. Let me quickly lay out "A Day in the Life of Lisa" for you...prior to adding exercise back in:
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~Monday through Friday I pry myself from my bed at 6am to quickly get myself dressed and ready, children up and at 'em, my lunch packed, dog let out, dog and cats fed, etc etc...all of the typical morning stuff.

~We scurry out the door at 6:45 to get Dustin to middle school, the girls to their appropriate enrichment/chorus activities and my booty to work at the girls' school.

~I'm at work at the elementary school until 3:15-3:30...depending on which after school duty I have at which time I rush on home. During the schoolday I get a 1/2 hour lunch break and am otherwise typically VERY active the entire day. (this is elementary school, afterall)!

~I've got 1 hour after work (an extra hour on Wednesdays due to early release) to throw a load of laundry in the washer (we're a family of five; we go through AT LEAST one load per day), grab a healthy snack, pop open bookbags with the children to help with homework/look at memos/sign agendas, change my clothes (if needed) for night job, perk a cup of coffee or green tea, kiss my husband and my little lovies goodbye and fly out the door to drive to Orlando for my evening job.

~I work at a proof operator (bank data entry) from 5:30 until anywhere from 10:30 until midnight (or later sometimes). We get a 1/2 hour break but otherwise are keying nonstop during the entire shift. Time goes quickly.

~After work I drive home and arrive there, on average, around midnight. Time to toss a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer, fold and put away any that might be ready, wash any dishes that might still be left (Matt and the children really try to help...sometimes he's just so tired too) and do any house chores that I can muster up before washing my face and falling into bed. I'm usually getting to bed around 1am...sometimes later on those later worknights.

~Day starts all over again the next day!
~Tuesday pm's, Saturdays and Sundays I'm off work. As I'm sure you can relate to, the time flies by lickety split. I fill that time with housework and getting organized as well as family time (playing games together, eating together, relaxing together, etc).
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So there ya have it! My life in a nutshell these days! Sound familiar to any of you? Not everybody has to work 2 jobs but many of you do or you probably at least feel like there's little spare time. You'd LIKE to exercise but just don't know where to start or where to fit in it. I urge you to read on, though, because you owe it to yourself to rethink things and do what it takes to take measures to attain a good level of fitness. If you're overweight and/or walking around with excess belly fat you are really setting yourself up for some dangerous health problems. Don't think you have time NOW to do anything? Imagine what issues with high blood pressure or heart attacks will do to your current routine. It's not just about exercising to fit into a pair of skinny jeans (although looking FINE is a really fun benefit of taking good care of yourself). It's about making yourself a priority so that you will feel your very best and be your healthiest. This, naturally, leads into you enjoying your life to the fullest and being the best you that you can be for the special people in your life.

How do I accomplish this then, Lisa?!

I'll share with you what I've done and maybe you can borrow some of my tips...the things that are working for me in the midst of my nutty agenda:

~Staying organized is key. I use a part of my weekends to plan meals for the week and we shop according to those mealplans. I prepare healthy meals in advance and freeze them and also plan healthy crockpot meals. Remember to plan healthy and easy lunches and snacks for yourself like I do so that you aren't scrambling and finding yourself in some drivethru for your food. What we put into our bodies is actually cornerstone to shedding excess weight and feeling great. Exercise just gives us a boost and makes us stronger, more flexible and relieves stress. Healthy eating choices are paramount--it's all in the advanced planning, people!

~Try waking up an hour early to get a workout in. It's a GREAT way to start your day! I have a hard time with this right now because I'm only getting 5 or less hours of sleep (and you do NOT want to cut out sleep, folks...it's important to your overall health as WELL as to weight loss...did you know that?) and I can't sacrifice more but, when I can, I like to kick start my day with the AWSOME Yoga Booty Ballet "A.M. Latte" workout. It's only 30 minutes long but supercharged and leaves me feeling great).

~Wherever and whenever I have to walk during my day (and it's a LOT at school) I push that body! I move like I'm a woman on a mission...squeezing with my cheeks (and not the ones I smile with ;) and working those legs. Park as far aways as you can at stores; don't take easy ways out. Stick that extra exercise in there anywhere you can! It all adds up. Don't just schlep around---MOVE it! (but don't forget to smile)!

~See if you can incorporate a brisk walk into your lunch break at work. I know LOTS of people who have started doing that. Some do it at the school. We've started doing it at Symcor (night job). Instead of eating during our break, my friend Shelly and I eat before work or on the way and then we spend our break fast walking with a little run here or there through the corridors of our building. 6 times 'round is a mile. We crushed 2 miles last night and are looking to attain a higher goal. We'll do this those 4 nights per week! My husband has often thrown some pushups, crunches and pullups into his workday. Drop and do as many pushups as you can a few times a day. Squeeze your butt while driving (rofl...try it...I'm serious)! Challenge yourself to look for unique ways such as these to incorporate exercise into your regular day. Get a friend involved...your more likely to stick to it if somebody else is depending on your company and encouragement.

~Find a workout program that is shorter but very effective. I can help you with this! (I'm a BeachBody coach loaded with a multitude of programs, remember)?! I'm a HUGE P90X fan but had to reevaluate my game plan once I started working 60+ hours per week. I don't have time right now to commit to the hour-hour and a half, very regimented workout schedule per day with P90X. I've vowed to do another round in the summertime when I've got a break from school. In the meantime, I've found success and heaven with BeachBody's Yoga Booty Ballet. SO many different workouts available under the YBB category...many are just 30 minutes. I've mentioned the morning one. I've also started doing the "Pajama Time" relaxation dvd almost each night when I get home--it's the absolute DESSERT of yoga and I've never slept better. Pure and Simple Yoga (also YBB) is only 30 minutes but a wonderfully intense workout. Then there are other hour long ones for days when I wake up early enough or have the day off.

~I keep a journal of the food I eat, the water that I drink and the exercise I do each day. This holds me accountable to myself and pushes me to do SOMETHING each day (I hate to have a page that doesn't list some form of exercise for that day).

~During our family time we make sure to spend some of that time in motion...biking or running together, playing on the playground, playing tag, tennis or some other shenanigans that burn calories while we have fun. Actually, Dusty, Sydney and McKenzie have certain BeachBody workouts that they like to do with us. Dusty's wanting to do P90X to get stronger for drumline tryouts at the high school next year. McKenzie got complimented on her 'ripped abs" during a checkup following her appendectomy last month and she told the nurse "I do P90X" (grin...she does me proud), and Sydney can do all kinds of crazy yoga moves! We just bought BeachBody's Shaun T "Fit Kids" workout dvd and I did it with my P.E. classes. A group of the 4th grade students wanted me to work up a similar routine with them for the talent show. So you see what serendipidously good turns your focus on including fitness in your life (and your family's life) can take you! Sometimes we'll throw on some music and spontaneously bust into a family dance party. Get nuts with eachother! It's fun, keeps you fit AND sets an all-important example for your kiddos.

It's so easy to feel overwhelmed when you have so much to do, when the piles of things to file are stacked up (mine are, by the way) and when you're at the bottom of the hill looking up. Gillian Marloth from Yoga Booty Ballet says, "In order to change your body, you have to change your mind." Start today. Make a plan. Let me help you. You're NOT in this alone--that's why I'm here. I'm here to share my story and to help you put a plan of action in motion. Do not be bound by the seemingly heavy weight of an overwhelming schedule. The boundaries are all in your mind. Leave me a comment here or, better yet, message me through my BeachBody website www.beachbodycoach.com/LisaErin or on Facebook. Anything is possible. I'm a walking testimony! ♥~peace!♥

A Pointed Effort to Enjoy the Meat in the Middle

Do you find yourself continually rushing off from Point A to Point B? Do you feel like you don't have enough time to do all that you'd like to do? Overcommitted? Locked into a gruesome schedule out of necessity?

I can definately offer a resounding "AYE!" for that last one.

I think most folks who truly know me would consider me to be an open, friendly person. I have no qualms talking with people and sharing conversation of a personal kind. Despite this outward-reaching quality, I can also be surprisingly introverted in a way that causes me to quietly sit back and notice things--to make observations and allow my mind to take me on an internally busy and ever-branching mental journey. Something I've noticed in particular lately that people are not only fraught with the heavy load of a full calendar but they are rushing at break-neck pace from one destination to the other with blinders on to the reality all around them along the way. This saddens me.

There are certainly times when we have to boogy along to get to where we need to be. I can relate to this all to well. I usually am blessed with being able to work fulltime as a subsitute teacher and then have about an hour in between the time I leave school and the time I need to head out for job #2. I'm eager to get home after the night job and get cozied in for the brief bit of rest before the workday cycle starts all over again. I'm often rushed on weekends to squeeze in whatever activities we have lined up along with the basic housework that I'm not able to complete during the work week. Monday arrives all too soon. Time is a precious commodity, that's for sure! I don't often have the luxury of a couple of hours of 'playtime' but there is still plenty of 'meat in the middle--' plenty of space between Point A and Point B--to at least PAUSE to smell the roses if not to alltogether stop.

What can we do to ensure that we're not becoming robotic and rude and missing the whole reason for which we were created? (As much as it FEELS as if we were created to work like dogs to pay the bills we're really all gathered on this beautiful planet to enjoy relationships of all levels with the people we cohabitate the planet with)! Well, I've been making a point of getting back into practicing yoga regularly and it, along with pointed prayer to our Father above, has been opening my mind and my eyes to some suggestions:

~Make a point of making eye contact with those you pass and offering up a 'Hello' as you pass. It can be quick but make it genuine.

~Stop for a few words when you can afford a minute. Again, make it genuine and heartfelt and about something other than the blasted weather for goodness sake!

~As you walk or drive from where you're coming from to where you're going make a point of really looking around you and NOTICING things around you. Take off those blinders. Walk with a quickened pace if you must but put some expression into your face (other than grumbly-faced) and notice the colors, architecture, lighting, activity around you and interact with folks as you cross paths.

~If you have to commute (like I do for the evening job), grab a book on CD and enrich your mind by listening to a narrated story or enriching book of some kind. I've really enjoyed this and am currently working through Lord of the Flies, narrated by the author (haven't read that since junior high or high school)!

~Take a candid look at your calendar. You might actually be able to free up some time for bits of fellowship with friends during time slots you previously felt were booked. I'm trying to coordinate such a thing with some of my friends from the school...even a 1/2 hour-45 minutes once a week to do a brief yoga video with some chitchat during would be a wonderful and restorative respite.

~OF GREAT IMPORTANCE: Find some sort of outlet (I emphasize here that they be positive in nature...as in not turning to alchohol or kicking the dog) for your stress so that you will be more open to a positive outlook. I truly find regular yoga practice to be an activity that strengthens my body, helps me become flexible but ALSO helps me become and remain centered and at peace. I have numerous yoga-related workouts available through my BeachBody site and can steer you in the right direction for the dvd(s) most appropriate for you.

There are other ideas. I'm sure you can even drop some suggestions in a comment below (I'd welcome them)! The point is, we all get so bogged down in our schedules and underneath whatever challenges are currently stressing us and pushing us to our limits. The key is to not let these things control us and lead us into making decisions that alienate us from what really counts. When all is said and done and we reach that point in our lives when we're nearing the end do you really think we're going to look back and say, "Wow! I'm so glad I raced my way through life so that I could get to where I was going as quickly as I could!" or are you going to remember all of the special moments you shared--both with family AND with friends--long-lasting as well as brief? Some of the beautiful friendships you end up making may very well find their conception in one of those brief passings where you take the time to say 'Hello, how are you today?'

If you think you're already a positive, upbeat and friendly person then SUPER! But you might want to do a reality check from time to time like I do to be sure that what people actually see from the outside is in alignment with how you consider yourself to be. Certain stresses and projects have occasionally shoved a nasty mask on my head. Often we take it out on the ones we love the most. I like to strive to remain very present and aware and not get suffocated with thoughts of the past or of the future. It's not that we should never ponder these things. Rather, its a matter of proportion. Let the present and a state of positivity be your driving force and your goal.

~Think about it~ Wishing joyful moments to you all. As always, I'm here for motivation and support if you need it. ~~Slainte~~